today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
