I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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