For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
