everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
