i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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