I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize