Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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