okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
