Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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