How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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