made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
