Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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