All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
