i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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