I seem to have left my pride at pride
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
