fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Say something about gay babies.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
