You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
