Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
