i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
