You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
