so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
