I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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