it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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