I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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