just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you inspire me to be a worse person
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
