fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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