My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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