Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Help. Why am I so naked?
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