her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
