There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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