But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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