Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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