i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
