i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
