I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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