Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sarcasm needs its own font
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
