Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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