Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
