I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
