I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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