he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
