She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm like, not good at living.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
