Your dad touched me again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
