her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
