Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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