at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
