Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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