pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
