i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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