Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
