Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
